MARK: Whoa! So you can turn water into wine?

JESUS: Yep.

MARK: And what amazing things have you done with this fantastical power?

JESUS: I dunno. I get fish drunk a lot. Oh! This one time Judas was washing his clothes in a river and I turned the river into wine and then all of his clothes got ruined. He had to spend 30 silver pieces to get a new wardrobe. It was hilarious.

MARK: I think you’re missing the point of your miraculous ability.

JESUS: I turned the Dead Sea into a 96 BC pinot noir. I bet you’ll change your tune after giving that a shot.

McSweeney’s THE LOST GOSPEL. (via ohsorry)

(via hardcorejudas)

Source: mcsweeneys.net

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