MARK: Whoa! So you can turn water into wine?
JESUS: Yep.
MARK: And what amazing things have you done with this fantastical power?
JESUS: I dunno. I get fish drunk a lot. Oh! This one time Judas was washing his clothes in a river and I turned the river into wine and then all of his clothes got ruined. He had to spend 30 silver pieces to get a new wardrobe. It was hilarious.
MARK: I think you’re missing the point of your miraculous ability.
JESUS: I turned the Dead Sea into a 96 BC pinot noir. I bet you’ll change your tune after giving that a shot.
Source: mcsweeneys.net
